Dear you,

I was sitting in a rental car in a parking lot outside of a grocery store in California. And I thought of you.

I thought of you and how much I miss you and I miss us and I miss the people we were before that summer.

And I want to see you when I get back home. I want to see you because I want to prove that we can build something resembling a functional friendship. But I know that there is a part of me that wants to leave her and hold you close and whisper in your ear that everything is going to be alright again. Because I am crazy and insane and god knows what else.

I find myself with A, in an amazing relationship that seems like it could only end in engagement or failure.

And the part of me that wants it to fail so that we could happen again is kicking and screaming and resisting.

That part of me that will always be in love with you wherever I go.

And it passes. The feeling passes and fades and the kicking and screaming stops. And I realize that you are you and I am I and we will never be the same again. I realize that I will never wake up next to you and I will never kiss you goodnight again and that is just the way it is. And it is not bad, and it is not good, it just is.

Love,
P

 To my wonderful Crimson Tide, 

I love you guys so much. I have been with you many years, despite cruel jokes from my brothers and distaste from my father. I have backed you up against Tennessee, while shouting at my stepfather via phone, and I laughed and cheered at Tebow's tears. You guys have accomplished so much!!! I am so proud of you!
Now, all I am asking for is another victory. Just beat the ever loving crap out of Texas in the BCS game, and I won't ask for anything else. In order to win, you guys need to take the next 14 days seriously. Please take care of yourselves!
GOOD LUCK GUYS! 

Love,

A teenage Alabama fan

Dear          ,

You're here. There is an opportunity staring straight at me in the face and I am not taking action. I don't have the guts to. It's an insane, ridiculous, terrible idea and I'm frustrated with myself for thinking of it in the first place.

It's obvious now that however many times I state, "I'm over it," to myself or others, it is not valid for anything. Even without communication for weeks, a simple little blip in that time plot is enough for me to resort to taking a few steps back to calm down any conflicting emotions -- and by conflicting emotions, I mean still wanting.
Not being over,
Still hoping,
Still wishing,
Still thinking,
Still missing;
It's all still maddening.

It's been two-and-a-half years since it first began. It's been one-and-a-half years since it first ended. Or, at least, it was supposed to.

That one evening before it was all gone was too close to perfect. It wasn't perfect, but it was close enough. Maybe if that evening didn't exist, this situation of emotions wouldn't be occurring.. maybe, or maybe not.

We were such kids. Aren't we supposed to get over things like that? Learn to let go? Or does it take longer for it to happen? I tried tricking myself into believing I was over it, but I now realize that it only works when that blip is non-existent.

The reason why it was so much more different and the fall that much higher was because of who you are.. is because of who you are. Your character. Personality. The stark line in the sand between you and the rest..

Or maybe I'm just -- still -- feeding into the thoughts of the young whilst I'm writing this.
Get real and grow up. Grow up and get real.
The thoughts of yesterday are petty in comparison to the thoughts of today..

..but I'm still feeling this feeling that I don't want to feel.

A reply is something I still have yet to receive now, and it's for the better if the rest of the night does not hold one for me. Oh, but I may have spoke too soon.. the blue is blinking. I don't want to check. I don't want to know that it's you, yet I don't want to know that it isn't.

I'm waving to this opportunity as it passes me by. Don't worry, though, dear opportunity, you will be sorely missed. Tomorrow, or the next day, will be spent with anguish in my mind, conjuring up possible possibilities that this night could have nurtured.

I'll continue with the facade. This is me, making things more difficult for myself.
It isn't anything new.

Have a nice, fine pre-Christmas eve.

Truly, though not yours,
    .

Love everyone.

Dear Texas football team:
Kick butt in the BCS Championship game. Alabama needs a good slap in the face. Their egos are too inflated.
Although I'm not a particular fan of yours, please do this for me. It would make this loss & Tim Tebow's tears not so bad.
- A rather upset Florida fan

ONE// Shelby
TWO// 19
THREE// Willow Springs, MO
FOUR// Cell phone, chapstick, iPod, something to drink and camera.

My boyfriend's parents bought me this beautiful Coach bag as my Christmas present!



( More in here )

Hello again from the Personality and Emotion Research Laboratory (PERL)!

Would you like to help us understand how to help people who self-harm?

We are currently recruiting participants for the second phase of our research on self-harm, and we want your help! Participating in the study takes only 90 minutes, and you will be entered into a draw to win one of five prizes of $150 CAD. If you are interested, please email us at chapman_lab@sfu.ca. All your information will be kept confidential, and no identifying information is linked to your responses.

**************************************************************
THE DETAILS:

Background Information: Self-injury (sometimes called “self-harm”) involves harming yourself on purpose. Some examples include cutting or burning yourself, taking an overdose of pills, or banging your head. Right now, very little is known about why people start or stop self-harming. The Personality and Emotion Research Lab (PERL), a research team from Simon Fraser University in Canada, is conducting a study to learn more about the experiences of people who self-harm, and we want your help! We are interested in how emotions, life experiences, stress and coping styles affect self-harm. We hope that this research will help other people understand more about why people self-harm and what they can do to help.

What you can do: If you want to participate in this study, you will fill out online questionnaires on self-harm, emotions, coping, symptoms, and life events. These questionnaires will take approximately 90 minutes to complete.

Who can participate: We are looking for people who currently self-harm (whether you are trying to stop or not), AND those who have self-harmed in the past and quit.

What’s in it for you: Participants who complete the questionnaires will be entered in a draw to win one of five prizes of $150 CAD. Telling us about your experiences will give us important information on how self-harm changes over time, and could help develop and improve treatments for people who want to stop self-harming.

Important Information: This study is the second phase of this line of research, and builds on the previous study. If you have already participated in our research (in a study called “Characteristics Associated with Self-Injury”), you are still eligible to complete this study.


Please contact us at chapman_lab@sfu.ca if you are interested in participating or if you have any questions.

Thank you,

Personality and Emotion Research Laboratory (PERL)
Simon Fraser University
Department of Psychology
RCB5246, 8888 University Drive
Burnaby, BC, Canada V5A 1S6

I was sitting at the desk butchering paper cranes to hang from my ceiling [using fishing line + white thumb tacks] when I decided I'd love to see other people's little special room things.  Especially since I'm currently idea seeking. :)

Just something in your room/house that you really love.  Jars of colorful buttons, a canopy over the bed, an old cookie tin from the thrift store, etc.  Anything you believe fits this post!

 • Bonus points if you provides pix and if its a DIY, super pts if you give instructions. ;))

Let's see 'em!

[I hope this post violates no rules.]

okay this is my first post here, i'll introduce later, but right now i need some help
im about to cut and dont know what to do
everything is going wrong
i feel like im a whale
A WHALE
A WHALE
cant help it
i need to do something to make me feel like i still exist
and not as the whale that is in my head

im trying to resist though
i can do it right
i can be strong
i can be strong

My mother asked me earlier today if we were having our usual Friday post. When I told her no, she suggested having a 'Tacky Christmas' thread. I'll get it started early.



Let's make her happy, shall we? Pictures can come from anywhere do not need to be your own, of course.

'tis the season of ruffles!

I decided.

( THE HAM! SAVE THE HAM! )

Над всеми картинками есть их кликабельные названия,-фотография открывается в новом окне, в большом размере.




( to look in the big size (+5)  )

Hey DJ,

I am probably being completely unreasonable here.  But, if you're awake, I see no reason why you can't, you know, check your phone.  Especially since the last thing I said to you was "I'm locked out".

I know I'm unusually wedded to my phone.  If I hear it ring, I'll respond quickly, and I'll usually hear it ring because I keep it by my computer while I'm working.  I fail to see why other people can't respond properly.

I am mostly annoyed because I think this indicates that I'm more into you than you are me.  I hate that, especially since this started with you gazing at me for hours on end.  I want to keep my mystery, but I can't seem to help checking my phone all the time.

Fucks sake.  I hate myself like this.

I'm not responding to any texts until noon tomorrow.  I shall be busy.

Dear V,

I don't care if you are pissed off at me for saying what I said yesterday. You deserved it. I know I am a mere employee and you the boss but if you are ticked off then maybe you should have thought about it.

As I said, I don't mind that you hired that girl, I really don't. But giving her my Wednesday 's hour of teaching without informing me is just plain wrong. I had an operation and couldn't do the dancing activities so we said I was going to get replaced until after Christmas. But tell me... Wasn't I the one who skipped all my sickness leave and got back to regular teaching 2 days after I got out from the hospital? Didn't I resume perfectly my other 11 hours of teaching? It was just that one hour!

Now if I recall things accurately, which I do, when C. last year dumped us in the middle of the year because she found a much better job, I was the one you asked to work more hours because the institute was new and we couldn't cancel her classes. And I did! And believe me I had to sacrifice things I did for this. But you never, ever thought of this didn't you?

You know it isn't the fact that you gave that hour that hurt my feelings. Nor the wage drop which is a result of this. What really hurt my feelings is that you gave her the class without informing me. Do you know how humiliating it feels to have someone storm in your classroom and asking you for the teacher's books and you, not knowing anything? For effin's sake why couldn't you give me a week's notice? Saying you forgot to inform me does not make me feel any better. It makes me feel worse.

So you know... Revenge is a dish served cold. I am going to do my job, because kids don't deserve paying for this. And God be my witness, I am going to do such a good job they will all pass their exams. And once they do, I am free. I am not going to work for you next year.

Thanks for the appreciation

K.

Henry my dear,

A long time ago I was a girl who won your heart. I would not forget how that unfriendly silence had made me fallen for you. How we talked in whispers and the romantic silent interaction between us.

But now, where was the love that you used to stab into my heart? Yes, now you have torn my heart in pieces. Who am I now for you, compared to the last time when you stared at me so meaningfully as if you didn't want to let me go? How could you be so blind when I reappeared as prettiest as possible? I bet you'll regret because you just losing a chance you never have, and I won't insist in approaching you again afterward.

Thank you for ever made my days different that they were so beautiful, despise the disappointment you gave me. I would make all the affections that used to be existed between us as an inspiration. Indeed, you are a story written definitely forever in my mind, Henry.

Your secret crush,
Nina

Dear life in general

Remember that time when you thought about other things?  I mean yes, the ED was always there telling you how fat and awful you were, but you thought and cared about other things as well.  Family, friends for example.  Now all i think about is the ED, i dont think about family, friends, the other things that make up life, i dont care about them, all i think about is my ED.  I couldnt care less about anything else and I hate that I dont hate this fact.

Please change life.

from H the selfish bitch crying on the floor wishing for something else
Xxx